I feel the same exact way man, the whole not living your life is the scary part, the pain of death i can deal with because really it's no big deal, the dark and nothing-ness is the freaky part.

we haven't talked in a while man, how ya been?

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Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.